I Loved You
by Srta. Who
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi is dead. No, his body isn't dropped on the porous and dark ground of that hellish planet, his heart didn't stop, unlike, it beats harder than ever under his chest, his lungs still pump oxygen, and his brain can think still. In all physical aspects he could be considered alive, really tired and dirty, however, alive, but, there are other ways of dying.


Obi-Wan Kenobi is dead. No, his body isn't dropped on the porous and dark ground of that hellish planet, his heart didn't stop, unlike, it beats harder than ever under his chest, his lungs still pump oxygen, and his brain can think still. In all physical aspects he could be considered alive, really tired and dirty, however, alive, but, there are other ways of dying, and if someone in this galaxy knows anything about dying in life, this person is Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Yes, he died before, with no doubt; he had died thousands times before. The first one when he had to leave his brother, Owen and his parents behind to became a jedi when he was just a little boy. More two or three times saying goodbye to two women he loved whit his full heart. One more when he saw his master, Qui-Gon Jinn, being killed by that sith apprentice. And thousands more seeing his friends leaving to battle and never coming back. But, one way or another he was always resurrected, however this time is different, the death fallen over the jedi today was all too much to take, it was definitive, irreparable. He can't go back to life, not this time.

Obi-Wan had found the worst end anyone could ever imagine something you don't want even to the worst tormentor. His spirit had perished, but not his body, his stubborn and insistent body still clung to this world, refusing to let his soul rest, imprisoned it, denning to it the eternal peace by his master's side and his, a once, battle partners. This broken shell, this gross and damaged material didn't realize, it just didn't seem to understand how much that tired and destroyed man _needed_ eternal funeral peace.

A huge knot hurt his throat while he tried to keep much tears as possible in his eyes, but, it was inevitable that a few of them, almost so stubborn as his body, flee of his eyes whilst Kenobi observed the one who was a once his padawan and his brother crawl on the ground, stricken, on that that black burning ground.

"You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! You were supposed to bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness!" While Obi-Wan said those words, he could see Anakin's pain, no only the one he caused whit his light saber by cutting his legs and one arm, but such an old and deep mix of sorrow and agony that made Kenobi's heart shake. "How could he kept it to himself all this time?" he thought. Anakin's yellow and red eyes full of tears revealed something verging repentance, guilt, nearly one ask for forgiveness, one ask that the jedi master would take with pleasure, if he had actually asked for it, but his apprentice never did so.

Kenobi turned his back over the pitiful scene of the imminent death of his best friend, he grab Skywalker's light saber, that weapon which was the life and death of a jedi. He remembered how good Anakin use to be training whit it, how they use to mess around discussing about which one was the best in battle; the discussions always ended up in the same way, the master, with mocking smile in his face, saying to the apprentice "We would have to battle till death to discovery it, don't we?". Obi-Wan never thought his words would become truth someday.

"I hate you!" Anakin screamed. Kenobi stared at him, and felt more tears scape from his eyes. Because even after everything his friend had done today, all the pain and heartbreaking he inflict not only over him, his own master, or Padme, but all the jedis who trusted and loved him, even after all the atrocities he made, even after it all, Obi-Wan still loved him; with his full shattered soul, Obi-Wan loved Anakin. As he was that little boy still, the boy who needed to be protected from the cruel galaxy out there. But, hearing that he realized, it was too late to protect Anakin from anything, he realized that the hatred which had now took his eyes by storm, the hatred which infected heart pulling him deeper and deeper into the dark side, that hatred was for him, and no one else but him. Realizing this hurt more than anything he have ever felt before.

"You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you" Anakin couldn't answer, because no longer after Obi-Wan say that a little spark reached his clothes, and he was burned alive. Kenobi couldn't bear watching that, he turned his face and closed his eyes, desperately wishing it to be a nightmare, a terribly realist nightmare. Trying hard as he could believe that any moment from now Rex would wake him up, calling him back to the battlefield, because Anakin got tired very long ago, and needed to rest. But when he opened his eyes, everything was exactly the same, his apprentice were still dying in pain, the volcanos were still exploding, and that was nothing but reality.

Feeling his legs totter and his throat hurt more than ever the dead and living jedi turn his back on Anakin. He walked away toward the ship. He should relive Anakin's pain by killing him, Obi-Wan knew that, but he just couldn't, no today, no ever.

Kenobi walked like a moribund for the first meters, until finally fell on his knees, incapable to give even one more step because his body was shaking too much for such. He screamed, a scream of agony, which was, certainly, heard by Anakin. Finally all the tears he had insured for so long sat free to wet that dry land. Scream and cry isn't something a jedi do, because a jedi can't show his feelings, but he wasn't a jedi, at last, he didn't feel like this anymore. Obi-Wan felt that everything he was, everything he ever believed in, everything he had fought for, was gone, buried forever in this place where he is crying right now.

He desired he died years ago, in Naboo, with his master. In his mind all this was _his_ fault, after all, he did teach Anakin, he should have separate Anakin from Palpatine when he had the chance.

"I should have done so much more! **So much more!** " He screamed. Kenobi holds Skywalker's light saber tight on his hand, that doesn't belongs to him, it belongs his brother, the brother who he failed whit.

His mistake would torment him all over his existence, he knew that for sure, but, he needed to take Padme and the droids out of there. Obi-Wan rose up, and walked, the longest walk he have ever done. He could feel part of him dying on every step he took, his hope getting little, and the guilt on his back getting larger. At the end of his patch he was someone else, no jedi, no Obi-Wan, he was no one, just a peace of flesh, hopeless, sunk in pain. Someone who didn't wait anything but pain and loneness for his future.

While C3-PO took the ship away from that hell, the ginger man realized that not only the once named Obi-Wan died on Mustafar, Anakin Skywalker no longer exist as well; he also died even before his body did. Both succumbed at the same time, one to hatred, the other to pain. Destiny played them a trick by connecting them so deeply by the force that one could never live while the other was dead.

They meet again long after it, as the redoubtable Darth Vader, and the mad Ben Kenobi, both maimed by the difficult years that followed. Treating themselves as deadly enemies, like people that always nourished one indescribable hatred for each other, trying to annihilate each other. Cause the survives bodies that fateful day were the only memories of the fraternal bonds of love that once united them. The only evidence left that they were once brothers.


End file.
